HOME SICK

Incarceration is one of the most extreme levels of punishment of the judicial system, but it also has to be implemented into our society.  Incarceration is torturous and tormenting to the prisoner in so many ways:

  1. You’re being taken away from your family, spouse, kids and friends and being placed around people you have never seen or met in your life.
  2. You have to get accustomed to the institution rules and the rules of being incarcerated (convict rules).  Them you gotta get comfortable in your environment and living quarters.  The whole thought of showering in front of other people is embarrassing and also degrading, it’s even more degrading when you are showering with 30-40 prisoners altogether.  Then their is no privacy when it’s time to relieve yourself, you have to use the bathroom out in open view in front of everyone.  It’s all very depressing and degrading, I’ve seen people go weeks without releasing their bowels.
  3. You have a lot to learn how to digest and swallow the horrible food that’s being served.  It’s a lot more things you really have to learn how to deal with while you are incarcerated.  You’ll slowly adapt and adjust to your current environment because your basic survival skills will kick in and take over.  It’s one thing you can’t learn to deal with or adjust to while incarcerated, that’s being homesick.  To me it’s the worst torture and punishment of the whole time being incarcerated.  Going to visit and after the visit is over having to depart from your family and leave them behind as they go home is sickening.  You receive pictures of your spouse and children on birthdays and during the holidays while sitting in a cell is torturous. I can’t speak for no one else, but for me the worst time for being incarcerated where I truly home sick and hurting inside is during the holiday season (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year).  It’s a 90 day stretch  from October to January.  These are holidays that as a kid I loved and enjoyed celebrating faithfully, so I have wonderful memories of my childhood holidays that are dear to me.  That becomes painful when I think back on those memories in this cell.  What kills me most inside and tears my heart apart is the holiday season.  The holiday spirit comes around and everyone is just so happy, loving and jolly in the Christmas spirit.  The radio stations are all playing holiday music.  I can’t listen to the radio during the holiday season, it causes me to become too emotional and depressed in my cell.  I’m always crying and thinking of my family and friends.  I’m constantly thinking about the good food, games and line dances that will be played and going on at my grandmothers house during the holidays. All the cooking is done at her house, honestly I become really homesick and just want to go home and be with my family for the holidays.  The pain is so deep that I try and sleep or should I say hibernate during those 90 days of the holiday season.  I don’t even get visits so I know I won’t be getting any for the holidays so I try and sleep 12-14 hours a day because I’m just not happy or in a good mood during the holiday season.  I’m seriously homesick! We’re in the holiday season at the moment and my homesickness is kicking in.
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